String Cheese

 

I recommend just biting it, eating it top to bottom, devouring Low Fat Mozzarella String Cheese to bits.  ignore all strings — it’s not worth it.  It tastes better to just bite, bite bite!  i don’t know why this picture is orange. i couldn’t find me brand on Google Image search.   I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BRAND OF STRING CHEESE I EAT!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE STRING CHEESE!

 

YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheesecake — YAAAY!

Some desperado catering company just delivered a bunch of free food to my office (including mini cheesecakes) in hopes that we’d start using them.  Fat chance!  Since the lot of it is most likely poisoned I am refraining.  My coworkers are stuffing their maws, intoxicated by the Free = Good fallacy.

Free Cheesecake: ??? (I ain’t eatin no cheesecake off the street)

YAAAY!

Uhhh… We’ve Got A Problem

I didn’t eat any momma-effin’ cheese yesterday!  What gives?

It’s okay…it’s okay…deep breath… wait, is yogurt considered cheese? 

Let’s say yes.  

Total 0% Yogurt: A+++

 YAAAAAAAY!

 

Friendship Cottage Cheese (1%)

I had this with my lunch yesterday.  It rocked.  You can mix anything with cottage cheese, did you morons know that?  Fruit, granola, raw beef, sand (my favourite).  Anyway, then I spilled coffee all over myself and went to my Dark Place.

All in all, a raucous lunch. 

Friendship (the concept): C+

Friendship (the cottage cheese):  A-

Tasting notes:  Curdy.  Dry. Light florals on the nose.

YAAAAAAAAAY!